About
In high school I assumed I’d have my life sorted out by my early-thirties and then I’d be done existing. Not in a dark way, just a matter of fact, smash-cut to nothingness once I hit 35. I didn’t have anything against being older, I just never believed it would happen, and honestly I was pretty ok with that.
I’m 38.
I recently realized I’ve been autopiloting life in survival mode. I’ve managed to get a job I don’t totally hate and live in the city of my dreams, but I also:
- Live paycheck to paycheck
- Don’t have any deep relationships with friends or family
- Can’t remember my childhood or what I had for breakfast yesterday
- Have a brain that's as calm as a raccoon infested dumpster
Every day I’m bored and stressed, but for the first time in my life, I think I can change that. Or at the very least, I truly believe it’s worth trying. I wish I realized that before Trump got re-elected and made thinking about the future feel pointless, but I’m not about to go back to passively hating my life again.